I got up early, just like every other Sunday. I got ready for church, as usual... my drive there was uneventful.... though I did doze off for a split second... unusual, but understandable because of how late I stayed up, and how early it was.
But when I got in the door, I felt it... I saw it, too. We had roughly, 3 times our usual attendance. It was 'Fast and Testimony' day, and I stood and gave mine, as usual.
But today, unlike all the other days, I had had no intention of doing so. I just DID.
The author within me rarely allows any sort of impromptu public speaking... It is hard for me to walk into any situation without some sort of decided path, in my mind, that I wish to follow.
After I was done today, I hardly remember what I said. Which is even more unusual for me... I don't like forgetting what I say. :|
When I get home... I usually rush to take off my coat and tie, and eat as soon as possible. I'm still in my coat and tie, I've been home almost 3 hours, and I don't quite yet feel like eating. The sanctity of the day is taped to my back.
So, I think this is what I've been aiming for... Oddly enough, I felt better after having spoken than I ever do writing a piece that I deem fantastic. The feeling has been there all day. It is STILL here.
The more I give up what I want, the more I let my will be absorbed by the World; the more the World gives me what I want, I am fulfilled in my denial of self.
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